It was a long camel train.

Ridiculosity. I have thought for over a decade I needed to write a blog. Actually, a few blogs--and a vlog. . . or two. I am rampant with chaotic details. My train of thought derails often; so expect incredible bursts of randomosity [and verbiature you never knew existed]. I have already set the bar too high for this late night drunken rant. Though I digress: I finally started a beauty blog a month or so ago after receiving my first VoxBox.[If you are interested - you can see my video and post about all of the items I received - don't judge me, it was the first time I had ever posted a video of myself where I didn't have either a guitar or piano to safely guard me. Also, I already hate myself more than you ever could so spare me your negativity.]

Those that know me personally know I am a bit of a hoarder slash whore. What I mean by this is I am a label whore, a shoe (specifically TOMs) whore, a clothes whore, a nail polish whore, a green glass whore. . . I could go on for days. I have lived in my self-made excess my entire life. I just really love stuff. This may sound incredibly material and shallow. However, I *really* love my stuff. I also really feel that I'm a pretty decent human being and I don't collect things to try and outdo anyone or make anyone else feel inferior; I am just happiest when surrounded by pretty things I like; whether it is clothes, books, perfume, vintage ashtrays, or Bust/Nylon/Vice magazines from 2006 that I have hauled across multiple state lines multiple times. I don't think I am so egregiously self-indulgent when people love Instagram and Pinterest --- ELECTRIC HOARDING, PEOPLE!! And vanity --- please?! You better believe if I catch 1 picture out of 250 that I feel is worthy of allowing another human being to see it - I'm gonna post that shit. With a vengeance. I am a girl - we already have body issues. If you're a girl who has evolved beyond a size 6, you can guarantee those body issues have been exponentially exacerbated. [Seriously, I had to listen to a bride-to-be declare how "fat" she was while she was having her Size 0 (yes: size ZERO) wedding dress taken in. What is with you skinny, bitches? Maybe YOU should eat a truffle and not go to the gym three times a day. Wow, now I am really ranting - I don't care what you do, but if you wanna tell me what a pretty face I have, I'm gonna tell you where you can put your face. I guess I went on this diatribe to attempt to explain that though I could fill a blog with daily posts of my latest beauty finds and obsessions - there is a plethora of other items/genres/things/feelings that I will probably end up writing/ranting about.

So there you have it, welcome to my little piece of electric real estate [wow, that was lame]. There may be the occasional dull review of items that have been sent to me gratis with an expected video/review and you will see my true nerdist come out. However, I hope to entertain you or get your mojo flowing about a cool nail polish, or album, new Toms design, my latest non-meltable spatula [which I will prove otherwise] or whatever may be the topic at hand. I may forget about this for a few weeks, I may do multiple posts in an hour. Maybe we'll hit on some key issues, maybe we'll be friends, maybe we'll discover a cure for bad fashion and bible-beaters. If nothing else, I hope we can keep each other company and just maybe share a snortle.

I shake my fists in the air with my "VIVA LA FISTS" face squint while thinking "Gosh, I hope no one who actually knows me ever finds this!" while realizing that if they don't, this blog will most likely remain unseen.

Conundrum.